Of Goyas and Marmalade

Two new releases that seem very different, yet are tied together by a definite sense of Britishness, are the focus for this post.

First up is Mortdecai, headlined by Johnny Depp and a X-ray-thin Gwyneth Paltrow. (Seriously, a person could be injured if her collarbones get any more distinct!) Depp is having immense fun in this role, which allows him to cut loose with his silly side as he plays Charles Mortdecai, a titled ne'er-do-well who is well known in the seedier side of the art collecting world. Deeply broke, Charlie is blackmailed into using his connections to find a stolen Goya masterpiece and, along the way, save his estate from financial ruin. The script shows a deep appreciation for broad British and Brit-based comedy, including Mike Myers' turn as Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. There's a bit of James Bond in here, along with some Monty Python and just a touch of Inspector Clouseau. I also noticed a nod to a few Indiana Jones licks, as well. The supporting cast, which includes Paul Bettany as Mortdecai's ever-faithful manservant, Ewan McGregor as the straight-arrow school chum of both Mortdecais, and Olivia Munn as a woman of, shall we say, flexible morals, is outstanding. The humor is not for everyone, as it relies far more on nimble patter and far less on gross-out gags (although there's some of that as well), and reviews have been less than kind. I, on the other hand, thought it was great fun and laugh-out-loud funny in several places. Not a film for the ages, but this one will make a fine rental. Rated R, but a relatively soft R.

Next is the charming Paddington. I saw this in a theater that was absolutely crammed and the enjoyment of the audience was audible. Paddington is right next to Pooh in terms of "bears our children trust" and the film is a delight. Paddington comes to London when his home in Peru is destroyed by an earthquake. He is young, frightened, and alone. Trying hard to abide by a code of behavior he finds bizarre, hilarity ensues and, since he has a good heart under all that fur, things turn out all right in the end. Along the way, though, there is much trouble and misunderstanding, along with Nicole Kidman looking like a family-friendly version of Emma Frost. Paddington has some lovely things to say about what makes a family and how sometimes, in our quest to be good people and do the right thing, we can become rigid and fearful. The kids in the audience clearly loved the picture and I can wholeheartedly say I did as well. And when you go (although this, too, could wait for rental season), watch the "Lost & Found" sign at Paddington station when the bear first meets the Brown family. Rated PG for some mild scary elements, including an unhinged taxidermist.

Coming Down with Something

Due to a touch of the late-winter bug (I won't bore you with details), I've gotten behind on reporting on my movie-going activities.  Thankfully, Meet Me at the Movies on TV19 is forgiving.  But we're back this week with a review on the new Bryan Singer directed Jack the Giant Slayer, which has the dubious honor of being dubbed 2013's first bomb.  Jack cost in the neighborhood of $200-plus million to make and market and its opening numbers were (to be polite) subpar.  So is it really that awful?  I have a rule that says I'll go see anything with Stanley Tucci (who plays the villain Roderick), so off I went.  And I can report . . . 

. . . it's not.

Mind you, I prefer my Slayers of the Buffy variety and Jack is trying a little too hard in places, but no, it's not  awful.  The story hangs together (even if it's feels a little long), you have some nice effects, and the actors are clearly having a very fine time.  So why isn't it a smashing success?

Think of it this way.  I have a sweet tooth - I'm pretty much a candyfreak.  While others want to discover how a creative barman can mix pomegranate juice with various alcohols, I'm way more curious about what it's like to dip the somewhat-exotic seeds in dark chocolate.  I'm a card-carrying member of the Lindt chocolate club, but I can also be quite happy in the dollar store by the movie candy.  But you can have too much of a good thing - European truffles and Sugar Babies and red hots and Now 'n' Laters and caramel creams - well, that's just Not Good.

That's the problem with Jack.  I don't know if Bryan Singer (who directed the flat-out brilliant Usual Suspects, as well as three X-Men movies and the upcoming Days of Future Past installment of that franchise) had Suits poking their noses into his production or what, but there's just too much.  It's like me in a candy store with low blood sugar and a credit card - everything seems like a good idea!  Not just one giant - a whole country of them! Not just one beanstalk - how about seven or so?  A farmboy and a princess who share the same taste in bedtime stories!  Magic beans!  Monks! (Monks?)  Don't get those beans wet - wait, are we in Gremlins all of a sudden? Political intrigue! A magic crown!

 Nicholas Hoult (who was Beast in Singer's X-Men: First Class and with his turn in Warm Bodies has become one of my Young Ones to Watch) is Jack and this "Farm Boy" is very much cut in the form of Westley from Princess Bride.  Well, if you're going to crib, pick the good ones, I say.  There's more than one touch of Princess Bride in Jack, including the use of a voice-over story as a framing device.  However, these giants are not nearly as gentle as Fezzik.  The giants are gross, slobbering monsters who have a low cunning, but not much in the way of actual intelligence.  I daresay kids would be entranced by the fun the movie has with scale - full-grown men come up to about knee-level on these giants and the beanstalk is fantastic - and yes, beanstalks work both ways as chlorophyll staircases.

Look, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, and Ian McShane (now with 75% less cussing than in Deadwood!) are all having so much fun chewing the scenery that they need to floss plywood from their molars.  Not much for the women-folk to do here  - and being a giant seems to be a male-only sort of thing.  Princess Isabelle wants to have adventures, but is basically a prop to be rescued and won.  (By the way - golden armor?  Really?  Face it, princess, it looks pretty, but won't stop a butter knife.)  Then again, not every fairy tale can be Brave.