Gods & Critters

So I recently took a bullet for the team and saw Gods of Egypt. "Meet Me at the Movies" is a show I enjoy doing and sure - I don't always like every film I see. But this - oh, the carnage! It was enough to make me wonder just what crimes I had committed in a prior life that caused me to suffer through this one. Perhaps I am a victim of the mummy's curse; I don't know. But this film is simply bad. As in MST3K or Rifftrax bad. The mythology is beyond muddled, the idea to have the gods be 1.5 times the height of humans is just off-putting, and the costumes are silly (especially those inflicted upon the women).

Gods of Egypt isn't even campy fun. (And with Geoffrey Rush as Ra, it could have been.) Chadwick Boseman as Thoth wants to have fun with it - and the man did play James Brown, so he can work a spangled costume - but the movie reins itself in when it should go full-on Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Perhaps if it didn't try to strike a balance of snark and grandeur or maybe if it reveled in the sheer ridiculousness of itself - but no. The best - the absolute best - thing I can say is that this film is what you could suppose the love child of Transformers, Part Whatever and Clash of the Titans might be. (But without a kraken, so really - there's no point. There almost is, when you see giant scarab beetles pulling a chariot, but -- no.)

"Release the Kraken!" (2010)

Honestly, this film is just a mess. Director Alex Proyas proved with The Crow and Dark City that he can wrangle large, improbable stories (and he uses Rufus Sewell from Dark City in this trainwreck, but hopefully, people will forget that), but this one just got away from him.

There's no reason to see this.

However, Zootopia restored my faith, and not just because it features the vocal talents of Alan Tudyk (as a real-life weasel) and allows Kristen Bell to actually play a sloth. Zootopia could've just been a cute little tale of unlikely partners, but instead, I found myself seeing a touch more deeply into this one.

At its core, Zootopia deals with predators and prey. Animals have progressed to a point where everybody gets along (there's a hilarious school skit that opens the film to explain this - it's right up there with Scout-as-a-ham in Mockingbird), only maybe not everyone likes that idea. Hatred and fear do a great job of dividing folks, as we're seeing in the current run-up to the elections in this country. And yes, we can learn a few things from an ambitious bunny and a misunderstood fox. Go see this one - take the kids, and have a talk afterwards.

Also - be on the lookout for the Breaking Bad joke tucked away in the underground lab scene.

Choose Your Side

Don't worry - Third Age Thursday will be returning! Between Thanksgiving Day and Dr. Franklin's absolute insistence that a few more samples be taken for some tests to be run (I keep telling him that there's simply no way I could have contracted hoof and mouth disease, but he won't listen and insists that some bacterium hitched a ride on a Drazi freighter and that he's seeing all sorts of weirdness as a result), no new post was created for this past Thursday, but I expect to be back this coming Thursday, even if I have to sneak a tablet into the medlab.

In the meantime, I've seen two new movies that I'd like to talk with you about. What we think of as a "kids' movie" has changed dramatically in the last twenty or so years. In many ways, that's a good thing - the quality has certainly improved. But one of the down sides is that the creators of many movies that are intended for children know that they also need to capture the attention of adults who are taking the kids to the movies in the first place, so themes sometimes get darker and more "adult" for no good reason.

Then you have the Hunger Games films. Mockingjay, Part 1, the third of the four planned movies, is out in theaters now and I have to say that I enjoyed it far more than I expected to. The whole film is a set-up for the climactic battles that will take place in the final movie and it would have been easy to just sort of phone this one in. But sometimes the set-up can be a strong film in and of itself (Empire Strikes Back, I'm looking at you!). While I generally disagree with the idea of stretching a franchise out to as many films as possible (oh, Hobbit, you and your infernal scenes of "walking in New Zealand" and creating entire subplots and characters that have zero to do with the source material! Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug notwithstanding - I'm still disappointed in you.) The original Hunger Games novel took a lot of criticism for being too closely aligned plot-wise with Koushun Takami's Battle Royale, but Suzanne Collins had a much larger picture in mind and we're really starting to see it here in Mockingjay 1. Yes, Katniss has survived the Quarter Quell and has discovered that there's a bigger battle brewing. So much of the film deals with her deciding who gets to use her - she's freed herself (or been freed from) the machinations of the Capitol, but is she willing to the be face of the coming Rebellion - an uprising which is going to get an awful lot of people killed for no certain outcome? The film has a strong, strong cast, with many reprising their roles from earlier films and some actors getting more screen time to develop their characters. For me, the most fascinating aspect of this film was the use of propaganda. Katniss is a symbol with tremendous value - and it's all in the editing. Remember that popular culture reflects the culture that created it and you'll watch Mockingjay 1 with a fresh appreciation for the wheels within wheels that are turning and you'll also wonder just whose hands are pushing those wheels.  Consider the District 3 salute being used in political uprisings in Thailand. Also, don't blame me if the eerie song "The Hanging Tree" gets caught in your head. Good movie - go see.

The other is Big Hero 6, based on a manga and "updated" to include a more diverse cast. The setting is moved to San Fransokyo and that's not the only nod to the film's Japanese roots.  Look for the "Lucky Cat Cafe," the lovely cherry blossoms, and a certain Kabuki mask. Big Hero 6 is a lovely movie about friendship, fitting in, revenge versus love, and the proper role of science. It's a great team ensemble piece and is letting some new vocal talent have their day in the sun, (Along with the ever-reliable Alan Tudyk, who plays a villain in this one.) There's a particularly interesting twist as the very pale Caucasian girl ("Honey Lemon") is the only one to pronounce lead character "Hiro's" name with a Japanese flair, instead of the Americanized "Hero." Go see this with the kids - and watch for Stan Lee.  Also, you get a short - "Feast" - at the very beginning that made me long for the days of shorts and cartoon being an integral part of the feature film experience. Ah, Pixar. Maybe you and Disney can reform us after all.

The Snow Queen Meets the Mouse

Walt Disney, through its various subsidiaries, now owns approximately 87% of the known world.  (OK, I made up the number, but I'm still pretty sure it's in the ballpark.  Click here for a list of holdings and let's just say that they've come a long way from a little animated mouse that was nearly named Mortimer.)  This holiday season, Disney has released Frozen, which is loosely based on the dark Hans Christian Andersen tale The Snow Queen.  It's a keeper.

Now, I have long lamented the Mouse's desire to round off the sharp edges of fairy tales, which were not originally for children.  These were meant to be cautionary tales full of danger, darkness, in which a prince's kiss usually brought more trouble than it was worth.  Still, I"m a sucker for a bouncy tune and Frozen is a nice addition to the Disney pantheon.

As far as I can recall, Frozen is the first Disney to have two distinct female leads.  (And the voices!  Swoon.  By hiring Idina Menzel, who was the original Elphaba in Broadway's Wicked, I suspect that Disney is positioning itself to go into full-scale Broadway production with this one, a la The Lion King.)  The bond of sisterly love, as opposed to step-sisterly-wickedness, is new. There is a honorable ice-seller, trolls, and a dastardly duke (voiced by Alan Tudyk, which ensured I'd be content.)  For sidekicks, there's a dim-witted, lovable snowman and a wise, goofy reindeer.

Honestly, Frozen is a delight.  The animation of ice, frost, and snow is a marvel.  The children in the audience were enraptured (as were the majority of the adults), and the message (and all films have messages; don't fool yourself into thinking they don't) is positive and worthy.

You could do far worse this holiday season.

(Still . . . go read the original Andersen.  Just maybe not out loud to the littlest among you.)